Thursday, July 18, 2013

Dear Outdoorsmen

Dear Gander Mountain,

I'd like to begin this letter with an overdue apology.  For many years, I loathed your existence and your unparalleled ability to draw my husband in your doors.  I, along with many other unsuspecting women, did not (and admittedly still do not) understand the magnetic pull of your many outdoor products and athletic gear, but today I must say "I'm sorry" and additionally, "thank you".

Please accept my apologies for the many disparaging words I've uttered about your store, like comparing my spouse's interest to "the inability of a drug addict to simply walk away from a cocaine sample display" or your halls to "a half-way house for men who think they are Bear Grylls".  My husband does not think he is Bear Grylls.

And I'm sorry.

My gratitude comes after the welcome discovery that my husband's preoccupation with your store has lead to an acceptance of my preoccupation with Target and Ulta.  Now I can wander the halls of Target, lulled into a dream-like state by its modern home furnishings and affordable clothing, without fear of persecution for my actions.  You've brought a whole new kind of equality to my marriage.

So, thank you.

Might I simply ask that, when contemplating changes and additions to your store-brand tents, you consider using materials that not only seal out water, but allow for more air-flow when closed?  My two young sons, already fans of your manly gadgets and child-sized weaponry, are enthusiastic about future hunting and camping escapades.  But said children are also fans of Mexican food and baked beans, and as their mother I am expected to share this small enclosed space with them.

Perhaps some mesh venting is in order?

Mary Foreman

P.S.- Your rarely used women's restrooms are always sparkling clean.  Keep up the good work.

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Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.