Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Data Analysis

I think it's time for a math lesson.  I've spent far too much time blathering on about children and diapers and school and birthdays-- it's time for some arithmetic.  So here's an equation for you.  

4 months of writing + daily entries = 100 POSTS!

That's right... you are reading my 100th post.  Isn't it momentous?  Can you feel that excitement in the air?  No?

Oh, I'm sorry.  That wasn't excitement.  It was a Nerf football to the side of my head.  My mistake.

So in honor of my 100th post, I thought it would be fun to take a look at the numerical side of life; to take an objective look at marriage, parenting and blogging.  Let's begin.

10,331 - This is how many days I've been alive, and most days I feel all 10K+ of them.  What's amazing is that Graham hasn't even been alive for only 735 days, making me feel all at once young and completely old in comparison.

2,308 - Joel and I were married on June 3, 2005, and have made it through 2,308 days at each others' sides.  I think we do pretty well; we both have quirks and traits that the other would love to change (yes I really DO need the counter completely clean!) but when fighting one's way through the maze of parenthood-- through the many battles of illnesses and family struggles and the highlights of birthdays and Christmas, it is comforting to know I have him at my side.  I think he feels the same way.  Well, most of the time anyway.  You know, when I haven't just pitched all of the papers on the counter. 

Seriously, can't it go anywhere else?

50 - What is it about starting a blog that ignites a competitive flame in one's belly?  When I started this ol' blog, I thought it would be a fun way of sharing my kids' crazy antics with friends and family.  My Facebook profile had been overrun with "Caelisms" and pictures of the boys that no one took the opportunity to view, so I was happy for the new site and creative outlet.  But here we are, only a few short months later and I'm hoping and wanting to see it grow.  If I can get 50 "followers" in 4 months, how many can I have in one year?  Or more realistically, how many will I gross out and turn away?

1,449 - It hardly seems possible that I've only been a mother for 1,449 days when it feels like so many more.  I vividly remember nursing Cael in the wee hours of the morning and literally crying because I was overwhelmed with love for him.  These days you'd be more likely to find me in a corner rocking back and forth in the fetal position than shedding a sentimental tear.  But it's not because I don't love them-- on the contrary, I've found that being tough is a job requirement, and one that I didn't really possess before. 

That's right, I'm tough-as-nails.  And no, I didn't sob uncontrollably during Toy Story 3.  Really... 

13 - To date, 13 "Caelisms of the Day" have graced the pages of this blog, and as long as he can speak I would expect them to continue. You'll be the first ones to know when Graham expands his vocabulary beyond "No!" and "buh poo".  Unless he accurately relays the Power Ball numbers or something.  I'm keeping that little gold mine to myself. 

5,520 - Yuck.  Let me give you a piece of advice-- don't attempt to calculate the number of diapers you've changed in your lifetime because it's thoroughly disgusting.  Even more so than the truckload of hogs I saw this morning being transported down the highway with their nether-regions hanging out the vents of the truck. 

I take that back... the hogs were pretty gross.  But so was Cael's epic Dairy Queen blowout of 2009.  Pig genitalia or projectile feces?  Let's call it a tie.

39 - The number of photos of Cael and Graham that are plastering the walls.  And although that number probably puts me in the "crazy shrine" zone, I have done my best to choose photos that avoid bodily fluids, rear ends or prohibited behaviors.

I've done my best.

15,024 - As I hit "publish on today's post, 15,024 of you have clicked on over to check out what Cael and Graham have in store.  I hope you'll keep coming back.  And I hope I never see that hog truck again. 

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