Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Rated-G Halloween

It feels as though Mother Nature flipped the seasonal switch as we set our clocks back.  All of the corn and bean fields have been harvested, leaving behind brown dirt to match gray skies that scream "November".  Where did fall go? 

I think we scared it off.  These two are pretty fearsome.

They didn't think so, of course.  It wasn't until about halfway through trick-or-treating in near arctic tempuratures that Cael made an observation I was hoping would never come.

"Wait, Mom-- am I supposed to dress scary on Halloween?  My costume isn't scary.  It's never been scary!"

Great.  Goodbye pumpkin, monkey, garden gnome, train conductor, Iron Man, doctor and baseball player.  Now I get to usher in a parade of partially decomposed pumpkins, monkeys, garden gnomes, train conductors, Iron Men, doctors and baseball players.  Or maybe I'll get lucky and he will simply waste his money on the iconic mask from "Scream" that at least 25 other elementary school kids donned last Friday night despite being way too young to understand the reference.  I hope I never have to have that conversation.

"You see Cael, 'Scream' was a blockbuster film that seamlessly bridged the gap between the horror genre and mainstream films.  It also shocked viewers to see Drew Barrymore, a high profile actress, killed off in the beginning of the movie before there was any opportunity for character development.  The mask with the characteristic dropped-jaw was worn by the killer who, in a somewhat expected move, turns out to be one of their own.  Special mention goes to 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', a similar movie that had the unfortunate luck of entering theaters shortly after 'Scream' and not being able to live up to the hype despite prominently featuring Jennifer Love Hewitt's large chest."

In reality, I simply changed the subject.  When Cael mentioned wanting to be a zombie next year, I discussed the merits of Crunch bars with Graham.  When he pondered how to transform himself into a giant sword, I pretended to tie my shoe.  And when Cael finally settled on being a "dead cloud", I pretty much did nothing, because that's not even a thing.  In fact, I'd kind of like to see him try.

We rushed through the candy heist as quickly as possible and came home to eat some dinner and begin the painful process of rationing the Halloween candy while I finished carving our pumpkins.  Just last year we spent several days planning our jack-o-lanterns, slowly crafting them to ensure accuracy, and then toasting the seeds for a well-rounded and festive Halloween experience. 

Then I had a baby.  This year the pumpkins didn't get done until after trick-or-treating was over and the porch light was off.  I know they still had a good time, so I tried not to beat myself up about it, but I've always worked to create memorable experiences for the kids and I hate when I fall short.  I can only imagine how late they would have been done if I had four kids instead of three. 

Now THAT'S a scary thought.

Here's to the end of an era.  At least there will still be peanut butter cups.

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Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.