Monday, August 5, 2013

Security Breach

Well, we've returned from from Seattle a little older, a little wiser and a lot more tired than before we left.  Traveling with children is no small feat, and I went into the experience with eyes wide open; eyes that I fully expected to focus on screaming children and a pounding headache.

A miraculous thing happened, though.  There were screaming children and headaches, but none of them were mine.  My boys sat quietly on the airplane, Cael intently coloring a new Avengers coloring book and Graham snuggled against me as he napped in his seat. 

I didn't really know what to do with myself.  Normally I am that girl, the one whose child is misbehaving and the one whose husband is making everyone laugh with his own brand of off-color humor.  But for one glorious moment, I was that woman- the successful mother with the saintly children and the husband who knew when to quit.

But it had to go south, right?  It always does.  After all, if this blog was dedicated to my kids' ability to follow directions, very few people would be able to identify with my struggles.  So when it went wrong, although minor, Cael found a way to make a major league scene.

At the airport, after successfully navigating security thanks to a serious conversation with Daddy about not mentioning guns or plane crashes while waiting for our flight, Joel and I handed over our iPhones and iPads to the kids in an effort to appease them during what turned into a 45 minute delay to not so gently prepare us for the two hour delay that would await us upon our return to Iowa.  As Cael immersed himself in an enthusiastic game of Fruit Ninja, slicing through oranges and grapefruits with the same ease as United sliced through our dreams of an on-time arrival, he hit his first obstacle in the game and shouted out,

"IT'S A BOMB!"

Have you ever tried to stop a moving train with your bare hands?  I haven't either, but I suspect it might be simpler than trying to stop a five year-old from saying the words that come into his or her head.  Despite the fact that Cael clearly understood the repercussions of offending the TSA, he was physically unable to control his mouth. 

"Oh my gosh, I'm gonna hit that bomb!"
"Just wait until you see it blow up."
"Wow, I have more bombs than anything!"


"Cael, you have to stop before we all get into trouble.  Please choose a different game now."

"Fine, I'll play the dinosaur hunting game.  Look, Mom, I have a HUGE gun!"

And I have a huge security liability...

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Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.