Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Compromising Positions

Cael and Graham are very attached to their plush pals, Bloose and Barker.  What began as a bedtime snuggle-partnership has evolved into a seriously co-dependant relationship for each of my boys.  The stuffed animals follow us everywhere while we are in the house, and both seem to graciously accept and actually desire their fate as glorified footballs and couch cushions.

But there was something happening between those two fuzzy sand sacks.

Every day, as we gathered 'round the table for any of our meals, Bloose and Barker were lovingly placed on the SE corner of the table to "watch" the boys eat.  Both Cael and Graham know to put them there for safekeeping, as snuggling a spaghetti-crusted dog or moose is not as comforting as one that is gunk-free.  When this routine was first in place, we carefully positioned each animal so they were watching their respective owner as he ate his meal.  But one fateful day, a simple accident gave Cael an idea.  When the cat jumped up on the table, it whacked the animals out of alignment.  Rather than demanding they they be returned to their original and proper locations, Cael found humor in the situation and talked at length about how goofy it was that Bloose and Barker were looking at one another instead of at my sons.

The next day at lunch, after Graham had placed Barker in his spot, Cael did some rearranging.

"Look, Mommy!"  Bloose and Barker are kissing!"

"Wow, they sure are.  That's goofy.  But won't they want to watch you eat?" 

"No, they like to kiss."

"Okay, whatever you say, Cael."

This is innocent, right?  Two fuzzy friends kissing?  It's certainly platonic.  But maybe not.

At his first opportunity, Cael used his creativity to find a new position for these two friends.  And maybe it was just me, but it seemed as if Bloose's smile was bigger and Barker's ears perked up at the sight of his "friend".  I chalked it up to "puppy" love.

But then it got weird. 

My son, who is young enough and innocent enough not to understand "the birds and the bees", simply thought it was cute to watch these two beanies interact.  But I had a very hard time keeping my uncomfortable laughter at bay.  I didn't want to stop him, because I knew that it would require a conversation to explain why this game was inappropriate.  At the same time, I weighed the likelihood that my son would repeat this scenario with two (possibly more anatomically correct) dolls or Barbies at preschool in a couple of months.  He's only three.  I'd like to believe I have a couple more years before the principal starts calling.

So, I took the blogger approach and decided to document the entire tryst.  I blew it off with a "oh, that's funny!" comment and snapped some photos while the boys continued to eat.  That is, until Barker began to get more aggressive and Bloose looked at me with droopy antlers as if he was feeling used.

He must not have been too offended, however, because their escapade got weirder and weirder, and my ability to stifle my laughter withered away as well.  How did we get to this point?  Don't we all know that it's a bad idea to have a relationship with someone in the workplace?  And isn't it inappropriate for them to be canoodling before marriage?

I guess Bloose and Barker also understood it wasn't meant to be.  Or maybe they just weren't ready for a commitment.  I hope they used protection.


  1. Thanks! I had such a hard time keeping a straight face!

  2. LOL...love it!


  3. I had tears in my eyes! I love the things these children come up with! Thank you for the giggles! -Monica

  4. Monica- I know! I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

  5. Oh my gosh! You got me laughing VERY out loud! I know, you can't make stuff like that up. My son (now 28 & a new parent himself) could not correctly say, "Aunt Jemima Syrup." We had begun a bit of birds & bees education, and Nate called it "Aunt Vagina." We switched syrup brands, but he didn't forget our reaction and then called all pancake syrup by that name. We didn't serve anything that could be topped with syrup when the grandparents were around...

  6. Annie- That's amazing! I can only imagine how embarrassing that would be if it sneaked into a conversation with company. Good call on the syrup-free options.

  7. To funny I have tears running down my face. LOL! I have to meet your boys. My son might have soul mates miles away.

  8. Tara- Thank you! It sounds like there are a lot of "Caels" out there. He needs to meet more of them. I want him to, at least, so that I'm not feeling guilty about his craziness all the time!


Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.