Tuesday, March 12, 2013

To Whom it May Concern

Dear Local School District,

I am writing today as a concerned parent and citizen of our community, and I would greatly appreciate your consideration of my thoughts.

In today's day and age, I understand that it is increasingly important for families to spend quality time together to combat the war on values that seems to be raging in our schools and homes.  Perhaps that was the major motivator for this year's annual Spring Break, an entire week of no school that allows for plenty of "quality" time with my five year-old son. 

This event may be steeped in tradition, but as a first time school parent, I am just now beginning to comprehend the consequences of this lapse in scholastic opportunities.  Not only is my son missing out on the continuing education that will hopefully prevent his future incarceration, but he is taking out his superfluous energy and frustration on my family and our home.

As he has missed out on the creativity and learning present in his art class, my son has taken to coloring the carpet and stamping the walls in protest. 

With no access to the library and its boundless reading material, I found my child huddled in the corner with a "free panty" advertisement from Victoria's Secret, clearly desperate for new words to master, like "cleavage" and "supple". 

And lastly, lacking the camaraderie of his school friends, my eldest chose to roughhouse with his younger brother, who is too young to handle his more aggressive style of play.

 At least that's what I thought.  The right hook and subsequent bloody nose he gave his older brother said otherwise. 

So in conclusion, school board members, please consider my thoughts as you construct next year's academic calendar.  While this vacation may be beneficial for teachers, please keep weary parents and our community's children in mind.  They are the future, you know.

Thank you,
Mary Foreman

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Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.