Acronymity

If it hadn't before, the technological age has finally rubbed off onto my children.  Never mind the television addiction, the video game addiction or the way my iPhone has become a digital extension of Cael's hand.  My children are now speaking in Internet abbreviations.

I've probably uttered an "OMG" here or there, and perhaps an unrelated "ASAP" or "HTML" while working on the blog, but Cael has taken that concept even further, stringing together random letters and claiming that they possess special meaning to him. 

Before I continue this story, I must make a confession.  It is not truly fair for me to be critical of Cael's odd linguistic endeavors because I, at about his age, had developed an entire language all my own that I called "Schmidt" (yes, really) in an effort to save face when I would pronounce a word incorrectly or use it out of place. 

"I'm so minted!"

"That doesn't make sense, Mary."

"Yes it does.  You just don't get it because it was in Schmidt!"

In Cael's circumstance, he has taken to speaking in acronyms just as I fluently as I shouted, "You are GOCK!" at my family members, leaving them to wonder if I was complimenting them or plotting their demise.

Maybe both.

I questioned Cael's motivation as well as he told me that he was hungry for lunch.

"Mommy, I am starving.  I need to eat cookies now because I'm gonna DGG."

"You're going to what?"

"DGG.  It means I have to eat cookies or I'll get a belly ache."

"Does DGG stand for something?"

"No, Mommy.  I'm sitting on a the couch." 

So maybe he doesn't understand what an acronym is.

But then again this morning as he begged for a flashlight to play with, I learned that he needed the light so that he could see in the dark, and because without it he was "SBO".

"What is SBO, Cael?"

"It means I can't see."

"Like being blind?"  I really tried to understand where this was going.

"No, not blind.  It just means I can't see with my feet."

Which should I be concerned about?  The fact that he has identified, diagnosed and abbreviated a mysterious and unknown condition, or the fact that he thinks he can see with his feet? 

Maybe both.

I'm sure there will be more to come, and I'm sure that with each "BTW" and "LOL" I will be immersing him deeper into Schmidt.  But for now, I'm throwing up my arms and throwing in the towel. 

"Mommy!  There is a really huge BIF in the bathroom.  Come and see!"

WTH...