Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Cael's Signature Offense

Today has been one of those days.  Not the would-like-to-poke-myself-in-the-eye kind of day, but the kind where nothing is easy.  If you have kids, you know the kind.

The real kicker was the front door visit from a very friendly albeit socially inept religious "representative" that most definitely does not have children.  It's clear that he feels we can be converted, although the truth is that I'd be more likely to convert to the metric system at this point.  As he reads verbatim from his leaflet, I see from the corner of my eye that Graham has located the inflatable hatchet so lovingly provided in a kids meal (thanks Arby's) and is beating the dog over the head with it.

Oh well, it's inflatable... right?

I'm doing my best to keep my demons children at bay when I realize Cael is about to do the thing I MOST fear.  You parents know what I mean... the specific thing your kid tends to pull out at the worst possible moment.  The one that he/she feels will embarrass you most.  For many it's a naughty word, up-to-the-elbow nose-picking or really egregious gas-passing.  Cael's signature offense is verbal, which is really pretty fitting, and I see it coming a mere second before he speaks it to the very official gentleman at my front door...

"Hey... do you have NUTS?"

Yep, my kid just questioned a complete stranger about his genitalia.  Cael reserves this phrase for only the most special occasions, and I guess he deemed this appropriate.  He was pretty proud of himself when he saw the look of shock and awe come across my face.  I've come to the conclusion that this really is a lose-lose scenario.  I could choose Option A:  Interrupt Mr. Religious and scold my kid but likely start laughing in the middle of my unsuccessful lecture; or Option B:  Ignore what he said and know that this man is judging my lack of parenting skills.  Ooh, toughie.

Thankfully (or maybe not), I didn't have to make the choice, because when confronted about whether or not he had "nuts", the man simply answered, "Nope, no nuts today.  Just an old fuzzy mint in my pocket."

Whew.  Now how do I explain that to Cael....?


Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.