Wednesday, July 13, 2016


We have a little magician in our midst.

Since his arrival, Adler has made quick work of disappearing items around our house.  Even when he was new, his tiny preemie outfits would vanish into the Land of Missing Socks or get balled up in the pockets of other, larger clothing.

I thought the washing machine was to blame.  Turns out it was Adler all along.

When Adler became mobile, he loved to steal Joel's cologne from our bathroom and hide it in the silverware drawer or in other locations in the kitchen.  Even now, although he is smart enough to understand concept like, "If I feed my sippy cup to the dog, he'll chew it up and I can't have milk", things still go missing daily.

Things like sippy cups, mostly.

Lest you think Adler's abilities are limited to the physical realm, let me reassure you that his talents extend much further.  Since birth, I have also mysteriously lost track of countless hours of sleep, my motivation to lose weight, any semblance of an alcohol tolerance, and my ability to say the right name when addressing any of my boys.

Cael-- Grah-- Ummm, Osc-- ADLER!  I mean Joel.  

Adler's most recent accomplishment, however, is disappearing himself.  My tiny two year old has figured out how to open the locks on two of the four exterior doors of our home and likes to go on the toddler equivalent of an Australian walkabout-- just him, nature, and the challenge of surviving on one's own against the elements within our fenced in yard.

The problem is that he has figured out how to open the fence gates as well, so what was once my last line of defense is now just a brief pause in Adler's quest for freedom.

I tried placing tension rods at the top of the sliding doors to prevent them from opening, but that method only works when Oscar and Joel (I mean Cael and Graham) don't pull the rods down to go play basketball in the yard or let the dog out to pee without replacing them.

Because of this lapse in our admittedly basic security system, I have an ever-present fear brewing inside me whenever Adler is out of my sight in our own home.  I'm constantly afraid that I will look out my front door to find my tiny one wandering about near the street in front of my house, or worse yet, that I won't.  That nervousness just never ceases.

I guess Adler has given me some things, too.

So from my current perspective, there are only two options to guarantee my little one's safety.  Either I wrap my entire fence in thick-gauge chain so that he is (at least) contained by our fence, or I invest in a straightjacket so that his hands aren't free to pick any more locks.

Adler contemplating escape, 2015.
He is Houdini, after all.

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