Monday, October 27, 2014

12 Things My Kids Said That Make Me Question My Parenting Skills

Over the last few weeks, I've been jotting down comments my boys have made that I thought were a good commentary on their world.  But as I compiled this list from notes on my phone, I realized that I have a lot of teaching to do.  But based on what's below, I might not be the best person to impart knowledge.

"I like when you decorate for fall and Christmas but you never decorate for other holidays."
"For what other holiday did you want me to decorate?"

"You like sushi and sushi is raw fish, right?  So is it okay to eat raw candy?"

"For my Halloween costume, I want to be a Halloween costume!  Get it?  But it has to be a dead costume, or one that somebody just shoved in a drawer and never wears."

"You really love pumpkin stuff, huh, Mom?"
"Yep, I'd like just about anything if it smelled or tasted like pumpkin."
"Oh good.  Somebody peed on the floor in our room.  But it smells like pumpkin!"

"For Christmas I want an iPhone, Mom.  But not like yours, I want the new one like Daddy.  I've been a little good... well, sometimes.  Maybe just an old iPhone for me."

"Graham, do you know why you put the guy on a hook when we play Hangman?  Because he's not smart and couldn't spell 'ghost'.  That's what happens when you can't spell."

"There are so many leaves on the ground.  I wonder if there are more leaves on the ground or stars in space.  Or poops in the toilet!"

"I don't like girls because all they talk about is Elsa and Anna and wearing pink.  And when I chase them they won't wrestle."

"When can you have another baby, Mom?"
"I don't know if I will, Graham.  Having a baby is a lot of work."
"Fine, I'll do it.  But next time it is Cael's turn."

"Look in the backyard-- did you see that?  It was, um... not a squirrel.  Not a raccoon or a cat.  Kind of like a bear but a tiny one.  We saw a movie about it, remember?  Oh, a lemur!!"
"I don't think lemurs live in Iowa, Cael."
"Oh.  I guess it was just a plastic bag."

"What is quarantine?"
"It is when you have to spend time away from other people in case you are sick and contagious."
"Can Graham have quarantine?"

"Mom, tell Cael I'm not a ebola!"

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Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.