Thursday, March 6, 2014

Ill-Logical Thoughts

Sorry for the sparse posting this week, but between going into hazmat mode to combat the spread of Graham's stomach flu, subsequently getting the stomach flu myself anyway and emerging alive, I haven't had much time to write.

Today is the day things go back to normal around here (barring something catastrophic), but before I attempt to jump-start my life, I leave you with these parting thoughts.

-  I would trade in five trips to any waterpark in the US to avoid stomach flu.  The current grand total of all gastrointestinal viruses to affect my immediate family this winter season is eight.  That is worth forty trips to the Wisconsin Dells, people.

-  I hate Gatorade.

-  When the cat is away, the mice will play.  Or in layman's terms, when Mom is incapacitated, the kids will completely cover themselves in non-washable marker.

-  Whoever rang my doorbell twice on Tuesday, I'm very sorry I didn't answer.  And I promise, it's not you, it's me.

-  Third pregnancy + lack of bladder control + stomach flu = total embarrassment.

-  Your bathroom is never cleaner than after you've been sick.  Incidentally, your toilet is never dirtier than when you view it from six inches away.

-  Other than infomercials, there are no television programs on at 4:00am that don't feature aliens and/or ghosts.  From this point on, I will now require a black light, garlic braid and at least 2 copies of the Holy Bible whenever I am stricken with a stomach virus.

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Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.